Just a word about that new TV series, Starcrossed, which is basically Alien Nation with Teen angst. Of course, the problem is that none of these teens are being played by anyone even close to being a teen. When the one college-age-looking girl said, “High School, we’re finally here”, I looked her up on IMDB. She’s 25. And her alien teen boyfriend is 30! In fact none of those high-schoolers is under 24. Now, back when I was in high school, there were 14 and 15 year olds that actually looked like scrawny 14 and 15 year olds and not muscle-bound 20-somethings or college-graduate models for the girls. Just thought it worth saying.

Anyway, since this is obviously a formula pic/series I just thought I’d write with the formula…

Step 0: This will take place in a school.

Step 1: Select a Species to inhabit the school:
-Vampire
-Werewolf
-Witch
-Alien
-Ghoul
-Evolutionarily advanced super-Humans
-Two to four of the above.

Step 3: One of the main characters is:
-A secret superhero
-Destined to face the legendary Big Bad
-The Reincarnation of an ancient evil.
-Royalty
-Secretly holding some monumental scientific or mystical secret
-Two to Four of the above.

Step 4: The number of love triangles is:
-1
-2
-3
-4
-Why limit ourselves?

Step 5: Ratio of Angst to Plot
-50/50
-60/40
-75/25
-Who needs plot?

Step 6: The End Goal of the plot, and hence the series is:
-When the characters graduate High School
-When the Big Bad is defeated.
-When this series stops making money
-When the Suits finally realize that no one’s watching this phlegm.

Well, there it is. My quick and dirty formula used by YA authors and script writers everywhere. I think it would be interesting to see the demographics on what age group actually watches these “Teens” in action; I’m guessing it’s not teens. Anyway, as far as Starcrossed, don’t hold your breath for it getting renewed past season one.